Monday, August 21, 2006

Family Interdependence

It's already freakin' 12:37 p.m. on an early Sunday afternoon, and here I am still, in bed, waiting for the sun to go down. Actually, Sundays have always been a chill type of day for me. Thus, the term lazy Sunday, right? I've fallen into the lazy Sundays because of previous habits, like clubbing on Saturday nights way past anyone's bedtime. But hey, this is Las Vegas, and it's a 24-hr city.

People are probably just getting out at church now. Some are having their lunches already. Some are doing their thingamajigs. Yet, here I am still in bed, with this
laptop. I actually got up pretty early today, like around 7:30 a.m., but I figured since I didn't have anything important to do yet, I went back to sleep only to wake up about an hour ago.

So yeah, it's lazy Sunday for me, and I'm suffering from the repercussions. But wait a minute, I did not go out last night. Ha ha. Still, I'm so used to having lazy Sundays, I just tend to mope around the house as soon as I wake up. But today, it's going to be different. I'm not going to sulk in sorrow all day long till I have to go to bed only to wake up the next morning to go to work. That is a killer. Instead, I have already made plans with my cousins and family to go to
Sunset Park to do some picknicking or barbecuing and play volleyball and frisbee golf. It's been almost a year that I have not spent time with my cousins and brothers. This should be a good reunion.
Family. I have had numerous discussions with friends about family, how they behave with each other, their connections, their interactions, obligations, responsibilities, and the like. Me, I have always been a family-oriented kinda guy. But no more. I have finally learned that there comes a time you just have to let go. Why? Because we are all independent human beings who need our freedom. Yes, I'm Filipino, and that is completely the antithesis of what my culture does, but there are things in my life, in my plans, in my goals, that are not necessarily in accordance with the family. Imagine, in the Filipino family, one is expected to live at home until they are married.

So yes, no more living at home. I have three brothers, all in their mid-20s who still live at home, and that is a very good example of the
Filipino culture. I have been telling my brothers for years, to get their own place, to learn how to be independent and survive on their own. The youngest, my little sister, was actually the first of my siblings to move out, which was right after high school. She moved in with her non-Filipino boy friend, and she has been living with him ever since. That is also breaking two big Filipino traditions. One, the youngest, a girl for that matter, moving out and she is not married. Two, she is moving in with a boyfriend. For me though, I admired that in my sister, that she was able to free herself and learn how to be independent. Me, at that time, I was stuck into the traditional role of the eldest, the provider, the caregiver, the one who will lead everyone else into glory. Not anymore.

Yes, breaking away was hard, but I had to do it. It was for my good. It was for their own good.


vinny said...

... I guess every filipino thinks they can save more money by living with their parents till they are able to get a place of their own, but i think, most especially if you are a guy, you better move right after college before you get married and have your wife live at you parents. or else you'll end up just staying there and raise kids with your mom.
... i think there is nothing wrong with that, it's just that it's not for me. i like privacy and making my own decisions.
... at least, when you are by your self, you don't get annoyed by your family member's stupid habits. ha ha
... so two thumbs up for you bro!!!

AIEPRO said...

I am revisiting my blog, and I realize that I have come a long way in learning more about the Filipino family and culture. I am more understanding of the situations now that I have lived in the Philippines for almost seven years now.