Method to my Madness Revival

It's the new year, and it's time to plan things again. I've always been a new year's resolution fanatic. But most of my resolutions did not come to fruition. Perhaps a new year's resolutions are just like promises, which were made to be broken.

So far, I am achieving to resolutions. Quit smoking! Last cigarette was on January 1, 2 am. Go to the gym! It's been nine months. This week, I've been to the gym twice. It's a slow start, but hey, it's progress. In fact, I'm planning to go again tonight.

More resolutions. Be more patient. Be more understanding. Smile more. Sometimes, these things are very hard to do because of the country we live in. But I've learned, after having lived here for a little over a year now, that we just need to accept certain things we cannot change. Instead, we need to change ourselves, and then slowly change the people around us. So I have learned to love this country even more, but I have learned to hate it even more. There's an oxymoron for you! How can I possibly hate something more if I love it even more? Beats me. But I'm slowly discovering that myself. Thus, the title of this blog: Method to my Madness.

And through this blog, I will discover myself even more. But to discover is just half way. How do I change? How do I change the people around me? By writing things down, it's at least a start.

And with new year's resolutions, my blog is reborn. It is revived. The revival of my blog. To pour my thoughts and hopefully change the mindsets of people. It's a pretty lofty goal, but hey, I'm ready for it. I don't intend to change everyone's mindset. Just one at a time, that's all. Just one at a time.

In Memoriam, My Loving, Caring, Gentle Grandfather

Another death in the Family. I have attended funeral's before, but it was always the funeral of a friend or a friend of the family. My grandfather passed away last week. To my grandfather, I love you, and I will always remember you.

My grandpa is the first of my grandparents to move on.

He had seven children and a lot of grandchildren. We all respect him very much. I don't remember my grandfather ever scolding me. What I remember most about him is this: When I was a little kid, about eight or nine years old, he would put oil in my hair and brushed it neatly. He said I looked more handsome like that. He combed it and parted my hair, and it looked like a Jose Rizal hairstyle. Of all my fond memories, this is the one that sticks to my mind the most.

Even when he was already tired, weak, and old, he managed to motivate himself to go back to the US just so that he could finish the immigration of two of his kids. Three of his children were already in the US. My mom, his second child, was brought through the US through my dad. His second daughter made it to the US over 20 years ago through marriage. And almost 20 years ago, his youngest child, my uncle made it to the US through petition. He had four children left in the Philippines. Two were not eligible because they were already of age with families. The other two, he went back to the US to petition them and complete them.

About three years ago, he came back to the US to complete the petitions. And two years ago, I came back to the Philippines to bring him home. He was tired. He was ill. He could barely walk. He was already wheelchair bound. He wanted to rest. As much as he didn't want to travel to the US anymore because of his illness and his physical condition, he agreed to go back. In one year, the paperwork for his two other children were completed. I brought him home to the Philippines. This was my second trip back to the Philippines in twenty years. I was really really young when I left. Although two of his children didn't make it to the US, all his children are living comfortably. And with my grandmother, they created a happy little empire, with lots of healty grandchildren. I am the second oldest of them.

The whole family is reunited for the first time in over 30 years, unfortunately, without my grandfather. 18 People from the US, his children and grandchildren arrived a few days ago. It was a reunion for the whole family, a combination of grieving and rejoicing. And when the grieving is done, they decided that they are going to celebrate my grandfather's life. To celebrate the good man that he was. I myself will celebrate his life. I know that when I brought my grandfather a couple of years ago, I know that his illness would catch up to him. I let him know that I loved him very much, and we always talked about his grandchildren and his children, and how they happy they are, and how he was a big part in that. He just smiled and was silent.

At first, I had mixed emotions. I wanted to cry for the loss of my grandfather. But I know that I also prepared for his departure. I let him know how much I loved him and how I appreciated him as my grandfather. I know he knows I loved him.

So I will grieve for his loss. But I will do more than that. I will celebrate his life. I will let others know how good of a man he was. I will honor him in many ways through my projects. He will be remembered. I want others to be like my grandfather. He put others before himself. He sacrificed for the sake of his children.

I love you grandpa.