Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Whatever Happened to my Perpetrators?

It's been several months now since I was mugged by some young thugs in Pasay, and I wonder what happened to my perpetrators. I called the police station several times wondering when I was going to appear in court for the trial. They just told me it was coming soon, that I should receive the letter of instructions (subpoena, I believe) in a few more days.

The letter never arrived. Perhaps it was stolen. Maybe not.

What probably happened is that the police officers took some bribe money from the "hold uppers" and released them without consulting with Ms. Justice. Oh well, I am in the Philippines after all.

Sometimes, I feel so guilty, so helpless, so confused, so bad about this situation. Why couldn't I do anything? After all, I am an educated person, and I have some money. But why did I not fight this? My friends advised me that it was going to be a dangerous battle. They told me to let this battle end, and fight another battle. True, I didn't want to get involved with the police. I didn't want to be in another dangerous situation.

I hope one day God will forgive me that I didn't fight this battle.

Friday, June 08, 2007

The Filipino and McDonalds

Am I an asshole? Am I asking for more than what I truly deserve? Some say I ask for way too much here in the Philippines. I should just shut up and accept what is and not to fight everything that the Philippines is not. And yes, sometimes, I do shut up. I do know how to pick my battles. I have learned this from one of my advisors in high school, Mr. Hendricks. He was also the one who told me to relax and not be so serious all the time.

Back to this thing of just desserts. Am I asking for too much here?

Just recently, I went to a McDonalds, the one near Greenbelt 2. I actually go there a lot, since it's near my condo, and when I'm lazy to cook, I just McDonald it. Yes, the fat, the grease, the salt. Can you feel the arteries clogging? Not a nice thought. Yuck. But on nights when you are just too damn lazy to fix a healthy meal for yourself, this is a great treat.

I'm probably one of their most frequent customers there. By now you are thinking, this guy must be really unhealthy. I actually eat a lot of chicken breasts and salads as well. I also go to the gym to burn all the calories. In fact, I love sports, and I play volleyball and basketball all the time. So, I think I'm pretty healthy. Sometimes, McDonalds is just so convenient. I actually prefer Burger King, because the burgers there are flame broiled, and the staff there is much nicer.

I digress.

I ordered a quarter pounder, and nicely requested from the cashier if they could put a small piece of lettuce in it. You see, I usually get a Big Mac, and it's got lots of shredded lettuce. This time, I wanted something different. I wanted a quarter pounder, but this quarter pounder has no lettuce. I thought maybe since they see me there all the time, they would grant my request of a lettuce leaf in my quarter pounder.

Obviously, they didn't want to put in a lettuce. The cashier confirmed with her manager, and NO, a big NO. Damn it. Just for a piece of lettuce. I didn't insist, though I guess I became an asshole at that time. What did I do?

I ordered my usual Big Mac. This time, though, I told the cashier to not put the lettuce in my Big Mac. Is there anything else, sir? Yes, I still want my quarter pounder. So I order a quarter pounder. But please put the lettuce, the one you're going to "hold" from my Big Mac, in the quarter pounder. The cashier confirmed with the manager. That was completely OK. No problem at all.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

When I saw my quarter pounder, I decided to change my order. Ms, I don't want the Big Mac anymore. Cancel that order. I just want the quarter pounder.

Voila!!! I got a quarter pounder with lettuce.

I would have paid for the lettuce, had she asked me for a charge from the beginning. In fact I pay eight pesos for barbecue and sweet and sour sauce all the time. I just got so upset, that after spending thousands of pesos there a month, they wouldn't grant me a piece of lettuce. If that makes me an asshole, then let it be. I felt good about it. I'm allowed to be a jerk once in a while, right?

Thursday, May 03, 2007

In Memoriam, My Loving, Caring, Gentle Grandfather

Another death in the Family. I have attended funeral's before, but it was always the funeral of a friend or a friend of the family. My grandfather passed away last week. To my grandfather, I love you, and I will always remember you.

My grandpa is the first of my grandparents to move on.

He had seven children and a lot of grandchildren. We all respect him very much. I don't remember my grandfather ever scolding me. What I remember most about him is this: When I was a little kid, about eight or nine years old, he would put oil in my hair and brushed it neatly. He said I looked more handsome like that. He combed it and parted my hair, and it looked like a Jose Rizal hairstyle. Of all my fond memories, this is the one that sticks to my mind the most.

Even when he was already tired, weak, and old, he managed to motivate himself to go back to the US just so that he could finish the immigration of two of his kids. Three of his children were already in the US. My mom, his second child, was brought through the US through my dad. His second daughter made it to the US over 20 years ago through marriage. And almost 20 years ago, his youngest child, my uncle made it to the US through petition. He had four children left in the Philippines. Two were not eligible because they were already of age with families. The other two, he went back to the US to petition them and complete them.

About three years ago, he came back to the US to complete the petitions. And two years ago, I came back to the Philippines to bring him home. He was tired. He was ill. He could barely walk. He was already wheelchair bound. He wanted to rest. As much as he didn't want to travel to the US anymore because of his illness and his physical condition, he agreed to go back. In one year, the paperwork for his two other children were completed. I brought him home to the Philippines. This was my second trip back to the Philippines in twenty years. I was really really young when I left. Although two of his children didn't make it to the US, all his children are living comfortably. And with my grandmother, they created a happy little empire, with lots of healty grandchildren. I am the second oldest of them.

The whole family is reunited for the first time in over 30 years, unfortunately, without my grandfather. 18 People from the US, his children and grandchildren arrived a few days ago. It was a reunion for the whole family, a combination of grieving and rejoicing. And when the grieving is done, they decided that they are going to celebrate my grandfather's life. To celebrate the good man that he was. I myself will celebrate his life. I know that when I brought my grandfather a couple of years ago, I know that his illness would catch up to him. I let him know that I loved him very much, and we always talked about his grandchildren and his children, and how they happy they are, and how he was a big part in that. He just smiled and was silent.

At first, I had mixed emotions. I wanted to cry for the loss of my grandfather. But I know that I also prepared for his departure. I let him know how much I loved him and how I appreciated him as my grandfather. I know he knows I loved him.

So I will grieve for his loss. But I will do more than that. I will celebrate his life. I will let others know how good of a man he was. I will honor him in many ways through my projects. He will be remembered. I want others to be like my grandfather. He put others before himself. He sacrificed for the sake of his children.

I love you grandpa.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Filipino and American Relationships

It's been a long long time. I used to have over 300 hits a day during my active days of blogging, and that was only when I first started blogging several months ago. I probably have one or two visitors a day now. Consequences, right? What happened to my blogging enthusiasm? It's called work. When work consumes you, you just forget some of the things in life. I intended for this blog to express my thoughts about the Filipino life, so that my head won't explode. It's still a constant battle, but I'm winning most of them.

One of my blog readers, Jesse, asked about writing more Filipino-American relationships. I know that there are great Filipino-American relationships out there. My cousin is married to a white guy. My aunt is married to another one. Great relationships. But then again, my sister's BF needs to go. My other cousin was dumped after eight years. Me, I dated Americans here and there. Columbians too. I never dated a Filipino. Even if I am a Filipino, there was just some cultural differences between me and other Pinays. For some odd reason, I never see eye to eye with them. Instead, I got along well with non-Filipinos. This will take volumes and pages to explain. Better leave it here.

Here in the Philippines, though, I've never seen so much white worship. Yikes! Everywhere I go, I see a Filipino or a Filipina kiss a white man's ass. So insulting. So degrading. So kawawa. I know it's about this colonial mentality this and colonial mentality that. Yes, it's historical. But there is a time when we need to rise up and let it go. It's time to hold our heads up high and know that we are all equals, regardless of color.

When I go to Havana, or any other establishments in Greenbelt, I see the poor Pinoys scrambling to ensure that the white customers are taken care of. Then I see the same poor Pinoys mistreating their "kapwa" pinoys. What a sorry sight.

CAUTION: If you're in customer service, you better treat me right. I will treat you as I want to be treated. That is, customer satisfaction. I am paying for it, and I only demand good to great service. No less. That is the same thing I would give you if you were to come to my business establishment. If I am not treated well, I will inform the manager how lousy the service is, and how I will never come back again, and how I will tell everyone else not to patron the place...unless they change their ways. Pinoys deserve good treatment too. All Pinoys.

I do not bow down to the white man. I respect them for who they are as human beings. But I do not bow down to them. I am a proud Filipino, and I need to be respected not by my color or my creed, but by the very fact that I am a decent human being.

Friday, February 09, 2007

Things Happen for a Reason

Yes, it's a cliche. It's used over and over again. But there is so much truth into it. It's timeless and universal. Even though I have just gone through a horrifying experience here in the Philippines, I know that I have to turn it into a positive spin. There are times when things just don't go the way you want them to, but the reason why things happen the way do will slowly reveal themselves to you slowly.

When unfortunate things happen, it is the way that a person handles them is the true measure of character. What kind of a person are you? Are you strong? Tough? Courageous? Hopeful? Hardworking? Motivated? Or do you die? Do you sink into oblivion? I've always handled negative forces in a way to strengthen my character. Yes, there is a time for grieving. But I will not dwell on that time. I will make use of my time, and make sure that I move forward and look forward to a greater future.

So on a positive note, my business venture here in the Philippines is slowly taking off. It is moving in the right direction, and I am helping people at the same time. It's very rewarding when my clients have come back to me and thank me for the help I have given them.

I am forever tied to the Philippines and the Filipino people; I now have a vested interest here more than I could ever imagine. I only hope that gives me more strength and courage to face the issues here in the Philippines. To stand up. To challenge. To change.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Hold Up I'to

It's been a month since I've posted. Lost of things going on right now, and I have not been able to get post. No excuses. But I do. PLDT. The internet connection has been so unstable that I refused to surf the net with so many problems and irritations. Instead, I concentrated on emails. Then there's the business I just opened. Finally. Whoa, so much red tape here in the Philippines. So that has kept me really busy. But now that we have opened up, I should be free to come online to do more posts. And PLDT said that they would restore "stability" with their internet connection by the end of the month. Whatever that means...

Hold Up I'to. I thought I would never hear those words in a real setting. But I did. Yesterday, early morning. Two of my friends and I were walking waiting and looking for a cab, and 7 to 9 guys bum-rushed us from behind; neckhold, three guys grabbed me. They got my money. My cards. My cell phone. My cell phone. Waaaah! My contact numbers. My blackberry. Oh well, the cellphone can be replaced. But my numbers. Damn! Karma? My friends wallet and cellphone. And my other friend's cellphone. All in all, about 50K worth in cash and valuables.

As a filam, my parents and friends and relatives and everyone I meet here tell me that bad things happen here, and I better be careful. I am cognizant of my surroundings all the time. When I picked up my friend at his place, with a cab, I even texted him the information of the taxi and the description of the cab driver, since I was not familiar with that area. But at the end of the night, it was going to be a bunch of scumbags that would take advantage of us.

It happened in less than ten seconds. We were bumrushed from behind. One held me on my neck, while someone else held my hands. Another searched my pockets. Same thing happened to my friends. I tensed, then relaxed, as I remembered people telling me not to react violently, but to give in. Life. Life. Life. That's all I could think about for the moment. it happened in less than ten seconds.

Then after they let us go; one of my friends actually chased after them as they all dispersed. To make a long story short, he was able to chase after two of them into a subdivision. The two went into a house, and the people in that subdivision were warned. They called the police, and they found two of them hiding under a covered table.

I did not see this part, as my other friend and I already took a cab back to our other friends to organize help, make phone calls. Our other friend went to the station with the barangay tanods.

To make a long story short...

I experienced a whole new world. The tough, the brave, the fearsome. The evil, the bad the ugly. Red tape with the police department (this will take three posts to complete). We went to four police stations because of jurisdiction problems. Hold up happened at 430 am. We were done with the police at 4 pm. Whoa!!! Almost 12 hours. Makati, Manila, Pasay Police were all involved. Issues. Even the cops did not know the right jurisdiction. They almost ruined the case because of jurisdiction issues.

Here's the scary part: we were forced to ride with the two hold uppers inside the police car. They were right behind us in the back seat. But there was no glass case or bars to separate us; so they could just put their hands around our necks again. At least one Tanod sat with them.

Then there are the wives of the two. Begging. Crying. Pleading. I have a soft heart for them. But I also have justice and fairness in mind.

Then there are the two thieves. Hold up. Aggravated Assault. Begging. Pleading. For their wives and their family.

Then there were the cops who wanted me to beat them up. I was not up to it. That would not be tolerated in the US.

Then there's the cops who hit and push them. My friends said that was culture here. Cops will do that to hold uppers.

Then there were the people who said those people should have been beaten to near death. They were lucky they were not beaten that way.

Then there were people who said that those two muggers were actually goodlooking. Who robbed and assaulted even better looking guys. Ha ha. That kinda made me laugh.
Then there is the plea to pay. So we drop the case. Plea after plea. Cries. Begs. I did not know how to work the justice system here.

Then there was the Tanod saying that the cops might already be making deals with the wives and the thieves, as evident of the jurisdiction issues.

Four stations. We were made to point at the two suspects four times. We told our story four times.

So many more events. Just can't describe all of it here. My mind is so jumbled up. Cancel credit cards. ATM cards. Where are my contact numbers?

There are so many more consequences. Cancelled taping at GMA for one of my friends. He was supposed to be taping a show. My other friend was supposed to go out of town Sunday for his promotion. I was supposed to meet with business partners to plan for our clients arriving on Monday. And so on and so forth...

Lessons Learned.

Main Lesson: What doesn't kill me only makes me stronger!!!

Mabuhay ang Pinoy!