Filipino and American Relationships

It's been a long long time. I used to have over 300 hits a day during my active days of blogging, and that was only when I first started blogging several months ago. I probably have one or two visitors a day now. Consequences, right? What happened to my blogging enthusiasm? It's called work. When work consumes you, you just forget some of the things in life. I intended for this blog to express my thoughts about the Filipino life, so that my head won't explode. It's still a constant battle, but I'm winning most of them.

One of my blog readers, Jesse, asked about writing more Filipino-American relationships. I know that there are great Filipino-American relationships out there. My cousin is married to a white guy. My aunt is married to another one. Great relationships. But then again, my sister's BF needs to go. My other cousin was dumped after eight years. Me, I dated Americans here and there. Columbians too. I never dated a Filipino. Even if I am a Filipino, there was just some cultural differences between me and other Pinays. For some odd reason, I never see eye to eye with them. Instead, I got along well with non-Filipinos. This will take volumes and pages to explain. Better leave it here.

Here in the Philippines, though, I've never seen so much white worship. Yikes! Everywhere I go, I see a Filipino or a Filipina kiss a white man's ass. So insulting. So degrading. So kawawa. I know it's about this colonial mentality this and colonial mentality that. Yes, it's historical. But there is a time when we need to rise up and let it go. It's time to hold our heads up high and know that we are all equals, regardless of color.

When I go to Havana, or any other establishments in Greenbelt, I see the poor Pinoys scrambling to ensure that the white customers are taken care of. Then I see the same poor Pinoys mistreating their "kapwa" pinoys. What a sorry sight.

CAUTION: If you're in customer service, you better treat me right. I will treat you as I want to be treated. That is, customer satisfaction. I am paying for it, and I only demand good to great service. No less. That is the same thing I would give you if you were to come to my business establishment. If I am not treated well, I will inform the manager how lousy the service is, and how I will never come back again, and how I will tell everyone else not to patron the place...unless they change their ways. Pinoys deserve good treatment too. All Pinoys.

I do not bow down to the white man. I respect them for who they are as human beings. But I do not bow down to them. I am a proud Filipino, and I need to be respected not by my color or my creed, but by the very fact that I am a decent human being.

Things Happen for a Reason

Yes, it's a cliche. It's used over and over again. But there is so much truth into it. It's timeless and universal. Even though I have just gone through a horrifying experience here in the Philippines, I know that I have to turn it into a positive spin. There are times when things just don't go the way you want them to, but the reason why things happen the way do will slowly reveal themselves to you slowly.

When unfortunate things happen, it is the way that a person handles them is the true measure of character. What kind of a person are you? Are you strong? Tough? Courageous? Hopeful? Hardworking? Motivated? Or do you die? Do you sink into oblivion? I've always handled negative forces in a way to strengthen my character. Yes, there is a time for grieving. But I will not dwell on that time. I will make use of my time, and make sure that I move forward and look forward to a greater future.

So on a positive note, my business venture here in the Philippines is slowly taking off. It is moving in the right direction, and I am helping people at the same time. It's very rewarding when my clients have come back to me and thank me for the help I have given them.

I am forever tied to the Philippines and the Filipino people; I now have a vested interest here more than I could ever imagine. I only hope that gives me more strength and courage to face the issues here in the Philippines. To stand up. To challenge. To change.

Hold Up I'to

It's been a month since I've posted. Lost of things going on right now, and I have not been able to get post. No excuses. But I do. PLDT. The internet connection has been so unstable that I refused to surf the net with so many problems and irritations. Instead, I concentrated on emails. Then there's the business I just opened. Finally. Whoa, so much red tape here in the Philippines. So that has kept me really busy. But now that we have opened up, I should be free to come online to do more posts. And PLDT said that they would restore "stability" with their internet connection by the end of the month. Whatever that means...

Hold Up I'to. I thought I would never hear those words in a real setting. But I did. Yesterday, early morning. Two of my friends and I were walking waiting and looking for a cab, and 7 to 9 guys bum-rushed us from behind; neckhold, three guys grabbed me. They got my money. My cards. My cell phone. My cell phone. Waaaah! My contact numbers. My blackberry. Oh well, the cellphone can be replaced. But my numbers. Damn! Karma? My friends wallet and cellphone. And my other friend's cellphone. All in all, about 50K worth in cash and valuables.

As a filam, my parents and friends and relatives and everyone I meet here tell me that bad things happen here, and I better be careful. I am cognizant of my surroundings all the time. When I picked up my friend at his place, with a cab, I even texted him the information of the taxi and the description of the cab driver, since I was not familiar with that area. But at the end of the night, it was going to be a bunch of scumbags that would take advantage of us.

It happened in less than ten seconds. We were bumrushed from behind. One held me on my neck, while someone else held my hands. Another searched my pockets. Same thing happened to my friends. I tensed, then relaxed, as I remembered people telling me not to react violently, but to give in. Life. Life. Life. That's all I could think about for the moment. it happened in less than ten seconds.

Then after they let us go; one of my friends actually chased after them as they all dispersed. To make a long story short, he was able to chase after two of them into a subdivision. The two went into a house, and the people in that subdivision were warned. They called the police, and they found two of them hiding under a covered table.

I did not see this part, as my other friend and I already took a cab back to our other friends to organize help, make phone calls. Our other friend went to the station with the barangay tanods.

To make a long story short...

I experienced a whole new world. The tough, the brave, the fearsome. The evil, the bad the ugly. Red tape with the police department (this will take three posts to complete). We went to four police stations because of jurisdiction problems. Hold up happened at 430 am. We were done with the police at 4 pm. Whoa!!! Almost 12 hours. Makati, Manila, Pasay Police were all involved. Issues. Even the cops did not know the right jurisdiction. They almost ruined the case because of jurisdiction issues.

Here's the scary part: we were forced to ride with the two hold uppers inside the police car. They were right behind us in the back seat. But there was no glass case or bars to separate us; so they could just put their hands around our necks again. At least one Tanod sat with them.

Then there are the wives of the two. Begging. Crying. Pleading. I have a soft heart for them. But I also have justice and fairness in mind.

Then there are the two thieves. Hold up. Aggravated Assault. Begging. Pleading. For their wives and their family.

Then there were the cops who wanted me to beat them up. I was not up to it. That would not be tolerated in the US.

Then there's the cops who hit and push them. My friends said that was culture here. Cops will do that to hold uppers.

Then there were the people who said those people should have been beaten to near death. They were lucky they were not beaten that way.

Then there were people who said that those two muggers were actually goodlooking. Who robbed and assaulted even better looking guys. Ha ha. That kinda made me laugh.
Then there is the plea to pay. So we drop the case. Plea after plea. Cries. Begs. I did not know how to work the justice system here.

Then there was the Tanod saying that the cops might already be making deals with the wives and the thieves, as evident of the jurisdiction issues.

Four stations. We were made to point at the two suspects four times. We told our story four times.

So many more events. Just can't describe all of it here. My mind is so jumbled up. Cancel credit cards. ATM cards. Where are my contact numbers?

There are so many more consequences. Cancelled taping at GMA for one of my friends. He was supposed to be taping a show. My other friend was supposed to go out of town Sunday for his promotion. I was supposed to meet with business partners to plan for our clients arriving on Monday. And so on and so forth...

Lessons Learned.

Main Lesson: What doesn't kill me only makes me stronger!!!

Mabuhay ang Pinoy!

Give Love on Christmas Day, (or Everyday)

In the spirit of Christmas, I want to share one of my favorite songs during the holiday seasons. I do have a soft heart. I do like some mushy songs. But this one has got a great theme: The simple tenet of love. There are times when we simply commercialize Christmas, busy buying gifts and preparing for parties, simply forgetting the true meaning of Christmas, which is, a celebration of the birth of Christ. John 3:16. For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.

Wow, I really have a bible scripture on my blog. I learned this verse ever since I was 5 or 6 years old in my hometown in Ilocos Norte. I will never forget it, as my parents, my pastors, our church leaders drilled it into us over and over and over till we turned blue in the face. It worked. And as a result of my parents and granparents and aunts and uncles forcing and persuading me to go to church, I now impart some their influence to the public. Things happen for a reason, and they slowly reveal themselves to you, as time goes by.

Back to the basic tenet of love. This Christmas, as we buy our gifts, prepare for parties, enjoy the parties, unwrap gifts, eat and drinky merrily, dance wildly or gently, let's not forget that there is a greater community out there, people living in the streets, broken homes and families, sick and hungry children, war-torn villages, oppressed minorities, and the like who are sometimes forgotten by the "busyness" of Christmas. I hope that we remember them as well. Pray for them too.

As we share gifts and give love on Christmas day, I hope and pray that we will remember this love the next day. Giving love should be everyday. Damn it, I'm being to mushy. Here's the song lyrics.

Give Love on Christmas Day

(Verse)
People making lists
Buying special gifts
It's time to be kind to one and all
It's that time of year
When good friends are dear
And you wish you could give more than just a present from a store

(Chorus)
Why don't you give love on christmas day (on Christmas day)
Even the man who has everything
Would be so happy if you could bring
Him love on christmas day (on Christmas day)
No greater gift is there than love

People you don't know
Smile and nod hello
Everywhere, there's an air of christmas joy
It's that once a year
When the world's sincere
And you like to find a way to show the things that words can't say

(Chorus)
Why don't you give love on christmas day (on Christmas day)
Oh, the man on the street and the couple upstairs
All need to know that there's one who cares
Give love on christmas day (on Christmas day)
No greater gift is there than love

What the world needs is love
Yes the world needs your love
Why don't you.....

Give love on christmas day (on christmas day)
Every little child on Santas knee
Has room for your love underneath his tree
Give love on christmas day (on Christmas day)
No greater gift is there than love
What the world need is love
Yes the world needs your love
Why don't you...

Give love on Christmas day (on Christmas day)
Even the man who has everything
Would be so happy if you would bring
Him love on Christmas day (on Christmas day)
(fade out....)

Finally, a Great Waitress in the Philippines

I have been coming in and out of the Philippines for the last three to four years. Six months here. Two weeks there. A month here and there. And I've eaten at restaurants all over Makati and Manila. TGIFridays. Chilis. Outback. Itallianis. Most restaurants at Greenbelt Three. Some restaurants at Greenbelt Two. Some in Libis. Some in Malate. OK OK, everywhere in the greater Manila area. Oh and at Fort Ilocandia, which is considered as one of the better resorts in the Philippines.

And in these past few years, I've never experienced a really really really, and I mean really personable dining experience. It's always the what's-your-order-here's-your-food-thank-you-ma'am-sir-come-again type of service. Usually, it's the raise-your-hand-i-need-you type of service. They never want to talk to you; only when you raise your hand. If I had my own restaurant, I would never want to train my people like that. My employees will not be robots. They will be empowered.

OK, so what's the deal? What's the scoop?

Well, tonight, I had an excellent waitress. The best ever in the Philippines. And you know what? She was shorter than 5'2". And you know what else? She was not mestiza. And you know what else? She wasn't 18-22 years old. See Pinoys. See Philippines, you don't have to be taller than 5'3", meztiza, and 18-22 years old to provide great service. In fact, all the tall mestizas I've dealt with were bitchy wannabe's. No offense to mestizas, of course. It's just my observations. Not all mestizas are like that. I wouldn't want to commit what they call in logic, the fallacy of hasty generalization.

So what made this one an excellent dining experience? Our waitress actually stopped to converse with us: me, my business partner, and my Indonesian friend. She actually took the time to say, "how are you guys doing?" She actually asked us how are experience is so far in the Philippines. She smiled. She was friendly. She was sincere. Our food was brought on time. She kept refilling our drinks. It was warm. It was comfortable. And I saw her as a beautiful human being. Not some robotic server of a waitress. She was actually organic. So sad to say, when I go to restaurants in the Philippines, I always picture the waiters and waitresses are robots programmed to simply take your order and bring your check when your done. I know it's wrong to do that, but perhaps I have also been programmed to think that way.

I know there are some pretty good managers out there who train their employees to be human. But I also know that a majority of them train their employees to be robots. How sad. Next time I go to another restaurant, and I have a robot server, I will tell the manager to eat at Bubba Gumps; he may learn something there about customer service.

Thank you Bubba Gumps Green Belt Three. Thank you Malou. Great job. We'll come back soon. And we'll bring more people with us next time.