The Philippines is a country of paradoxes. Actors create policies, and politicians create drama. Students spend more money in school than what they will make at their jobs after graduation. And the honking of jeepeneys? and taxi drivers? and runned-down Toyota Corollas? One day, I would like to buy a megaphone, buy a loud portable "beeper" and go to every jeepney, taxi, car driver and just beep the shit out of them right to their ears. How do you like the beeping now?
So here it is. I will revisit these topics in later blogs. Some need expounding.
CAN YOU GUYS THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE TO ADD?
THE PHILIPPINES IS…..
50. Where the most happening places is not where the party is. Instead it’s where the gang wars happen, where women strip and where the people overthrow a president.
49. Where even doctors, lawyers and engineers are unemployed.
48. Where everyone has his personal ghost story.
47. Where mountains like Makiling and Banahaw are considered as holy places.
46. Where everything can be forged.
45. Where the school is considered the second home and the mall considered as third.
44. Where Starbucks coffee is more expensive than gas.
43. Where every street has a basketball court and every town only has one public school.
42. Where all kinds of animals are edible.
41. Where people speak all kinds of languages, and still call it Tagalog.
40. Where students pay more money than they will earn afterwards.
39. Where call center employees earn more money than teachers and nurses.
38. Where driving 4kms can take as much as 4hours.
37. Where flyovers bring you from the freeway to the side streets.
36. Where the tourist spots is where Filipinos do not (or cannot) go.
35. Where the personal computer is mainly used for games and Friendster.
34. Where all 13 year olds are alcoholic.
33. Where colonial mentality is dishonestly denied!
32. Where 4am is not even considered bed time yet.
31. Where people can pay to defy the law.
30. Where everything is spoofed.
29. Where even the poverty-stricken get to wear Ralph Lauren and Tommy Hilfiger.
28. Where honking of car horns is a way of life.
27. Where being called a bum is never offensive.
26. Where flood waters take up more than 90 percent of the streets during the rainy season.
25. Where everyone has a relative abroad who keeps them alive.
24. Where crossing the street involves running for your dear life.
23. Where wearing your national colors make you “baduy”.
22. Where billiards is a sport, and darts is a bar game.
21. Where even the poverty-stricken have the latest cell phones. (gsm - galing sa magnanakaw)
20. Where insurance does not work.
19. Where water can only be classified as tap and dirty… clean water is for sale (35pesos/gallon).
18. Where the church governs the people and where the government makes the people pray for miracles. (AMEN TO THAT!)
17. Where University of the Philippines is where all the weird people go. Ateneo is where all the nerds go. La Salle is where all the Chinese go.. College of Saint Benilde is where all the stupid Chinese go, and University of Asia and the Pacific is where all the irrelevantly rich people go.
16. Where fastfood is a diet meal.
15. Where traffic signs are merely suggestions not regulations.
13. Where being held up is normal. It happens to everyone.
12. Where kids dream of becoming pilots, doctors and basketball players.
11. Where rodents is a normal house pet.
10. Where the definition of traffic is the ‘non-movement’ of vehicles.
9. Where the fighter planes of the 1940’s are used for military engagements, and the new fighter planes are displayed in museums.
8. Where being an hour late is still considered as punctual.
7. Where cigarettes and alcohol are a necessity, and where the lottery is a commodity.
6. Where soap operas tell the realities of life and where the news provides the drama.
5. Where actors make the rules and where politicians provide the entertainment. (kung gusto mo mapikon, watch the news)
4. Where finding a deer on the road will be a phenomenon. (may deer dito? seryoso kayo?)
3. Where people can get away with stealing trillions of pesos, but not for a thousand.
2. Where Nora Aunor is an acclaimed actress and Boy Abunda is the best talk show host.
1. Where everyone wants to leave the country! (ang saya-saya!)