Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Philippines Top List: Hilarious, Sad, but True, well mostly.

I planned this blog with the intention of posting absolutely original stories, but I saw this post on another Filipino blogger's site (Anthology of...) and I just couldn't resist posting it. A lot of these statements, I was going to write about. But, I might as well post them for you to see now. They are absolutely hilarious and true.

The Philippines is a country of paradoxes. Actors create policies, and politicians create drama. Students spend more money in school than what they will make at their jobs after graduation. And the honking of jeepeneys? and taxi drivers? and runned-down Toyota Corollas? One day, I would like to buy a megaphone, buy a loud portable "beeper" and go to every jeepney, taxi, car driver and just beep the shit out of them right to their ears. How do you like the beeping now?

So here it is. I will revisit these topics in later blogs. Some need expounding.



50. Where the most happening places is not where the party is. Instead it’s where the gang wars happen, where women strip and where the people overthrow a president.
49. Where even doctors, lawyers and engineers are unemployed.
48. Where everyone has his personal ghost story.
47. Where mountains like Makiling and Banahaw are considered as holy places.
46. Where everything can be forged.

45. Where the school is considered the second home and the mall considered as third.
44. Where Starbucks coffee is more expensive than gas.
43. Where every street has a basketball court and every town only has one public school.
42. Where all kinds of animals are edible.
41. Where people speak all kinds of languages, and still call it Tagalog.

40. Where students pay more money than they will earn afterwards.
39. Where call center employees earn more money than teachers and nurses.
38. Where driving 4kms can take as much as 4hours.
37. Where flyovers bring you from the freeway to the side streets.
36. Where the tourist spots is where Filipinos do not (or cannot) go.

35. Where the personal computer is mainly used for games and Friendster.
34. Where all 13 year olds are alcoholic.
33. Where colonial mentality is dishonestly denied!
32. Where 4am is not even considered bed time yet.
31. Where people can pay to defy the law.

30. Where everything is spoofed.
29. Where even the poverty-stricken get to wear Ralph Lauren and Tommy Hilfiger.
28. Where honking of car horns is a way of life.
27. Where being called a bum is never offensive.
26. Where flood waters take up more than 90 percent of the streets during the rainy season.

25. Where everyone has a relative abroad who keeps them alive.
24. Where crossing the street involves running for your dear life.
23. Where wearing your national colors make you “baduy”.
22. Where billiards is a sport, and darts is a bar game.
21. Where even the poverty-stricken have the latest cell phones. (gsm - galing sa magnanakaw)

20. Where insurance does not work.
19. Where water can only be classified as tap and dirty… clean water is for sale (35pesos/gallon).
18. Where the church governs the people and where the government makes the people pray for miracles. (AMEN TO THAT!)
17. Where University of the Philippines is where all the weird people go. Ateneo is where all the nerds go. La Salle is where all the Chinese go.. College of Saint Benilde is where all the stupid Chinese go, and University of Asia and the Pacific is where all the irrelevantly rich people go.
16. Where fastfood is a diet meal.

15. Where traffic signs are merely suggestions not regulations.

14. Where all the trees in the city are below 6ft.
13. Where being held up is normal. It happens to everyone.
12. Where kids dream of becoming pilots, doctors and basketball players.
11. Where rodents is a normal house pet.

10. Where the definition of traffic is the ‘non-movement’ of vehicles.
9. Where the fighter planes of the 1940’s are used for military engagements, and the new fighter planes are displayed in museums.
8. Where being an hour late is still considered as punctual.
7. Where cigarettes and alcohol are a necessity, and where the lottery is a commodity.
6. Where soap operas tell the realities of life and where the news provides the drama.

5. Where actors make the rules and where politicians provide the entertainment. (kung gusto mo mapikon, watch the news)
4. Where finding a deer on the road will be a phenomenon. (may deer dito? seryoso kayo?)
3. Where people can get away with stealing trillions of pesos, but not for a thousand.
2. Where Nora Aunor is an acclaimed actress and Boy Abunda is the best talk show host.
1. Where everyone wants to leave the country! (ang saya-saya!)


ReNba OdEnRoH said...

Thanks for visiting my blog. Kahit na walang kwenta laman... :) I linked your blog to mine if you don't mind!


schumey said...

I agree with your list and every Filipino should read this. It might shake some sense into our regressive minds. The sad reality that instead of moving forward, we have as a nation reversed whatever gains our forefathers have made. Cha-Cha (Charter Change) as some people may suggest is not what we need, what we need to progress is (Cha-Cha) Character Change.

Anonymous said...

two thumbs up, schumey... character change and a whole lot of discipline for oneself... No more "pasaway"... i just coudn't figure out why most filipinos consider being "pasaway" as something cool. that is waaaaaaaaay backwards.

Mia said...

Kids these days (eww; I'm still technically part of the youth, I think) wear the tagname "pasaway" as a badge of honor.

I've read similar versions of that list several times and though it evokes a smile or two, it never fails to strike a nerve (or two... or three... etc). A lot of things here really don't make sense but we just tolerate them. Filipinos are pretty good at tolerating things. It's not a very positive trait.

rob said...

...where almost everyone knows someone who plays in a band.

...where carabao english is a requirement for sexy stars.

...where 'to commute' means to take public transportation.

Anonymous said...

i saw this blog while researching about banahaw... funny but most is true... specially the last one 1. "Where everyone wants to leave the country!" really frustrating. plus the fact that our politics is a one hell of a carnival